文筆好不好，只讀一小段：通俗小說這么寫會成為爆款

加拿大安大略省筆譯口譯協(xié)會（atio）認證翻譯、加拿大認證esl老師、留學申請顧問。

承接駕照、結(jié)婚證、房產(chǎn)證、出生證、疫苗證、護照、銀行流水、資產(chǎn)證明、聘用信、推薦信、營業(yè)執(zhí)照等翻譯。速度快、信達雅、收費合理。不滿意原銀退還。

加拿大英文教練（原溫哥華英文教練），致力于地道英文表達

去年，一部熱播的英劇《慢馬》（又譯作《流人》）很抓住了我的眼球。這部劇的英文名是Slow Horse，來歷是英情五局的一個邊緣機構(gòu)。話說情報機關(guān)內(nèi)部難免有些犯過各種各樣錯誤的人，隨便將其掃地出門不大合適，畢竟這些人也掌握過一定的內(nèi)幕。于是就設(shè)立了一個邊緣機構(gòu)去收留這些人，辦公的地方叫Slough House， 這Slough House的諧音就是slow horse，非常貼切—這幫人之所以落到這個地方，不就是因為跑得慢被淘汰了嘛。這個組織的頭名叫Lamb，可千萬別被他的名字騙了，隨著劇情的展開，我們會發(fā)現(xiàn)這根本不是只“待宰的羔羊“，而是一只披著羊皮的狼。另外一個男主名字更好笑，叫River，不過也別被他的名字片了，他才不是”至柔之水“，也是個厲害的特工，只是被自己的同僚挖了坑陷害，才落到今天的境地。這些慢馬們在一起，這些臭皮匠在一起，卻做出了令人稱道的成績。

這部劇上映后，很快成為爆款，而翻看原著，也同樣的精彩。這里，我們挑選三個場景，看看作者Mick Herron的手筆。

場景一，我們選取一個Lamb和River的對話，看看這臭皮匠的頭跟有刺的下屬的dynamic:

River opened his mouth to ask, then closed it.

Lamb used the hand he wasn’t driving with to find a cigarette. “You think Hobden’s the only right-wing fruitcake in the country? Or he the only one you could think of at closing time?”

“He is the only one I know of who’s had two spooks sicced on (sic on 攻擊) him in the past forty-eight hours.”

“So you’re spook（原意是鬼，這里指特工）. Congratulations. I thought you’d failed your assessment.”

“Fuck off, Lamb,” he said. “I was there. I saw her shot. You know what that’s like?”

Lamb turned to study him through half-open eyes, causing River to remember about the hippo being among the world’s most dangerous beasts. It was barrel-shaped and clumsy, but if you wanted to piss one off, do it from a helicopter. Not while sharing a car.（這段描寫充分體現(xiàn)了英國人的dry wit，冷幽默也好，冷笑話也罷，讓人忍俊不禁。Lamb身材肥胖，因此被形容成barrel，hippo。二人在車里相互挖苦，River最終認識到，像一頭河馬的老板其實非常危險，即使要向他發(fā)火，最好在直升機上從他發(fā)。這里的piss off 實際是雙關(guān)語，可以是撒尿，也可以是發(fā)火。從直升機向河馬撒尿顯然更有畫面感）

“You didn’t just see it,” he said. “It was down to you. However clever was that?”

“You think I let it happen deliberately?”

“I think you weren’t good enough to stop it. And if you’re not good enough for that, you’re no use to anyone.” Lamb changed the gear like it was a violent assault. “If it wasn’t for you, she’d have been tucked up in bed. Hers or somebody else’s. And don’t think I haven’t noticed the looks you’ve been giving her.” The car growled onwards.（Lamb從來不是個正面激勵下屬的老板，而是一個從反向刺激下屬的老板，所以他經(jīng)常罵他們，怎么難聽怎么罵，但他又確實精明能干，而且關(guān)鍵時候總是要護崽的。他曾經(jīng)對自己的上司這么說：他們是群慢馬，可也是老子的慢馬）

你看他的對白，從不是長篇大論，但每個字都是干貨，并且把對話中所帶的力量融合進外部場景中了，比如Lamb的一通訓斥之后，The car growled onwards.

場景二，我們選了一段Lamb的同僚，也是他的辦公室政治對頭，一位精明強悍，手段毒辣的女性Diana。這一段是她走下電梯，進辦公室的場景。這里沒有對話，幾乎都是她的內(nèi)心獨白。作者有種神奇的力量，把人物的內(nèi)心獨白與外部環(huán)境融合在一起，讓人不知不覺也融入了那個場景中，分不清外部的世界是真實的世界，還是人物感知的世界的投射。

The elevator ran slowly, and this was deliberate. A long slow descent had a weakening effect on anyone here involuntarily, inducing in those who were conscious a nervous, vulnerable state. （電梯的緩緩下降，是我們都有過的經(jīng)歷，這里，作者將一般人坐電梯，尤其是向下的電梯的感受點了出來，形成一種共鳴；然后與Diana的心理做對比，一天只睡四個小時的她，才不是那種電梯下降心里就發(fā)虛的普通人）Diana Taverner passed the while checking her reflection. For a woman who’d had less than four hours’ sleep in the past thirty, she thought she looked pretty good. But then, she thrived on the dangerous edge. Even when life was on a smoother track, she took corners on two wheels: office/gym/office/wine bar/office/home was a typical day, and sleep was never high on her agenda. Sleep was ceding control. While you sleep, anything might happen.（上面兩句話極短，但極有沖擊力，尤其是“睡覺就等于讓出了控制權(quán)，一旦你睡著了，什么都可能發(fā)生“，一個狠角色的心里躍然紙上）

But this had been run under Moscow rules, like a deep-cover op on foreign ground. As far as Black’s record showed, he’d quit the Service last year, and Taverner had had only one face-to-face with him since he’d gone under. The Voice of Albion was a below-the -radar bunch of Toytown fascists, consisting, until Black had stirred them up, of one man and his dog. None of the op details—the safe-house address, Black’s co-conspirators, the vehicles they’d used—existed anywhere on paper or, God forbid, the ether. And yesterday’s report to Limitations had kept the details scanty; a “watching brief” fell far short of surveillance, and Taverner couldn’t be blamed if Albion had slipped the leash…It was patchy, but Taverner had sealed leakier ops. One watertight report was worth any amount of tradecraft.（這一段是她回憶自己的老板跟她的互動，以及她正在上演的一出“捉放曹“的陰謀。精于算計、深諳組織生存之道的她非常善于用one watertight report 去做”刀筆吏“）

場景三所描繪的是另一個女性，Lamb的秘書Catherine，她也曾伺候過Lamb的前任，在同事眼中，她就是個不起眼，人畜無害的秘書大媽。而且，她還是個嗜酒者，去戒酒中心是她的家常便飯。而恰恰就是這個角色，在慢馬們后來的行動中起過關(guān)鍵作用。這一段跟上面描繪Diana的那段，相似的地方在于都有心理描寫，但Diana那段有“外部投射“的成分，而Catherine這段，幾乎全是人物的動作和內(nèi)心獨白的交織，尤其要注意其中三次出現(xiàn)、用斜體的My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic。最有意思的是，當Catherine感覺有人在自己的門上搞事情的時候，作者寫道，她的第一反應(yīng)不是去抓電話（報警），而是去抓 “武器 ”，但自己僅有的武器，卻是一只酒瓶，這種反諷與人物的經(jīng)歷融為一體。

She pulled on the dress she’d laid out for the morning. Tied her hair back, and checked her reflection. My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic. It was rare that she could look at herself without those words uncurling in her mind. My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic. For a long while she’d thought herself a coward. It had taken some time to understand that becoming dry involved bravery, not the least part of which was making that assertion in public. Reaching for a weapon rather than a phone was that same bravery making itself felt. It had taken great effort to rebuild her life, after so many props had been taken away, and if most days it didn’t feel like much of a life, it was the only one she had, and she wouldn’t surrender it without a fight. The fact that the only weapon in reach had been a bottle could be labelled one of life’s little ironies.

My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic. There was this to say for the AA mantra: you were in no immediate danger of forgetting who or what you were.

誰說通俗作品就不講究寫作的技巧？上面三個場景已經(jīng)達到寫作教科書的級別。慢慢品吶！